If this and If that, Then Display this

[PAINTBALLM]

Alright basically, I dont want to fork out too much money for what I need as it isnt a strictly required thing yet, but it would be very nice to have.

Basically I need a page that admins can go to daily, and check on a couple of things.

The rules for displaying something on this page are as follows:

If user belongs to usergroup, + user has an active thread in this category/forum, then list username, thread title(s), link(s), status (closed or open). Then at the bottom have a button that says "Random Sticky 5 Users for each category". Then it will randomly pick 5 users from the list above, and sticky their threads. Once the button is clicked again (for us, every three-five days)... it will unsticky the old threads, and pick 5 new threads.
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The whole idea of this is beacuse there are a lot of people trying to sell their gear on our forums, and items end up going to the second or third, or even foruth page within hours. Then there is a lot of bumping that takes place which everyone hates. This will be a feature to encourage people to subscribe. Once they subscribe they are put in a different usergroup, which has more privledges.

If you can do this, let me know.

Thanks