What do *you* do?

[Dean C]

Originally Posted by Chris M

I certainly couldn't sit back and let my future wife do all the cooking, cleaning and washing etc without feeling guilty
Chris

I could

[deezelpope]

Originally Posted by Chris M

Personally, I wouldn't be happy with that... While some aspects of home-life I know I'm not the best at, living with someone means that you share responsibilities... I certainly couldn't sit back and let my future wife do all the cooking, cleaning and washing etc without feeling guilty - I'd have to at least help out with the cleaning by hoovering and tidying up, mowing the lawn etc... Not so much cooking, I don't trust half of what I cook, the other half is burnt so I know it's "cooked"

Chris

But we do share responsibilities...he works his ass off at his day-job (9-12 hours a day, 6 days a week) to make money for us, plus the bills are his responsibility. He does take the trash out for me on occasion, but only if I need him to.

This is just my opinion, but if you were in our situation, there would be nothing for you to feel guilty about. In fact, I feel guilty a lot of the time because I'm not bringing any money into our home.

[Brad]

Originally Posted by smacklan

I have to disagree with this statement, somewhat I think it is entirely feasible for anyone who wishes to get their priorities straight. 8 years ago my wife and I decided that we didn't have children for someone else to raise them so we sold the house it took both of us working to pay for, bought a smaller house in the city and my wife quit her job as a dental hygenist (of which she was making alot more than me and I was still paying her college tuition bills). I did not make alot of money...less than $30K a year gross. We never wanted for anything, had more children and learned to love our little house. As time passed, I began making more money and we were able to move, earlier this year, into a new home that was bigger and nicer than the one we sold 8 years ago. My children are happy, well rounded and homeschooled. They both were reading, writing and doing math on a 2nd grade level by the time they were 6. My wife is happier than she ever was working outside the home. She manages our house better than I ever could and I trust her to take care of those things as she trusts me to support us financially. My point is, it is entirely possible to live as most of society did from the beginning of our nation until just a generation or so back. It comes down to what is important to you and are you willing to put your own selfish wants second and not let "society" dictate how you should live your life? Now, for those that are single parents, the situation changes dramatically, so the above is nearly impossible.

I'll have to disagree on the last part to some extent.

My dad was a single parent from the time I was 6 until today. He raised me and my brother while also holding a full-time (12 hour+) job at a power plant. He also took a major cut in pay (he used to travel and work in nuclear plants, when mom moved out that was no longer possible so he took a job at a semi-local coal plant (the largest one on the east coast)).

He was able to do this because unlike most people these days my dad's side of the family all live within a square mile of each other. In other words my grand parents, great grandparents, and uncle spent just as much time raising us as he did.

It was hard on all of us of course. For 10 years I had to wake up at 4am every morning when dad left for work so I could be dropped off at my grandparents house where I always had a home cooked breakfast waiting on me. In the afternoon I was also there from 4pm til around 6pm or 7pm depending on how late dad had to work. I spent most of my summer vacations there as well.

My point is these days people seem to move away from their extended family...and that's a bad thing imho. We were a lucky bunch though.... Compared to most of my friends I have "young" grandparents (I have friends with parents that are older than my grandparents! But then again I'm the oldest child in my family). My dad has also worked the same job since he left high school, so he's had plenty of time to work himself up to "good pay".

This is why I throw things at the TV when I see "dead beat dad" commercials. They should really change that to "dead beat parent" or something....

[deezelpope]

<i>Dear, dear Brad...I dumped The Child Support Agency in Sheboygan, Wisconsin on their asses because they treated my kids' fathers so poorly! When I told them I wanted to drop both support orders, they tried to tell me I couldn't do that. Wanna bet?! My kids' dads are GOOD fathers, and deserve to be treated with respect. Major kudos to your dad!!</i>

[smacklan]

Thats good stuff Brad and your father and family are to be commended! I will agree that anything is possible if you make it a priority

[Brad]

Originally Posted by deezelpope

Dear, dear Brad...I dumped The Child Support Agency in Sheboygan, Wisconsin on their asses because they treated my kids' fathers so poorly! When I told them I wanted to drop both support orders, they tried to tell me I couldn't do that. Wanna bet?! My kids' dads are GOOD fathers, and deserve to be treated with respect. Major kudos to your dad!!

My dad did the same thing for my mom around two years ago (she is still supposed to pay it because my brother is in college). I won't go into his reasons for waiting that long...eh let me put it this way; We needed the extra money and he felt like her paying for her kids foods was the right thing. However we're both old enough to take care of ourselves now, and she's raising her third child and money is tight (she was behind on support payments as well iirc).

I don't mean to paint her in bad light or anything, I love mom the same as dad and my step dad. We had some rough spots in our relationship over the years but that's every family right? These days I'm happy my parents split up when I was so young...I have a little sister and a very cool step dad as a result of it.

[davidw]

I am a bench tech / tech support for a computer consulting company (which is growing very very fast). My wife is a homemaker and homeschooler of two children. How she does it, I'll never know (and I won't question it either).