put it this way, if you set your mind to it you can do anything. Plugins are so easy to make. All you would need to do is modify your templates too add certain things as well. As far as database im sure you can use anything. I think most people use mysql cause well its free. If you can get PHP and mysql setup on a server there should be no problem running this. But vbulletin is the most flexible forum software out there. I love it to no end just because of the ease of use and flexibility.
There are freebies out there but vbulletin will stay on top of things,very few security flaws and they will fix them right away if found.
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