Physical Touch

Hey, I'm curious on what everyone things about this situation I went throught. I'm a 24 y/o straight male and thing I'm sending some signal to one of my friends. I grew up in a family where physical contact between two people even of the same gender was normal. As long as it did not occur below the waist of above knee. Such things as hugging, pats on the back, arms on each other's shoulder. It never was a big deal. Well, the other day my friend Brad and I were visiting out friend Sam at a campground. We had to cram in the back of our friends car and she had her arm on the seat behind my back and joked about it. So me, being funny decided to put my arm behind Brad's back and he went nuts saying "Get your had off my back" which was weird because he is never stern like this about anything and all I meant was joking.

I do notice this in other things like he is paranoid about other people touching him, sometimes even girls. Did I do something wrong? Is there a reason he rejects physical touch. I mean I could totally understand if I had grabbed his ass or balls but I didn't. All I did was put my arm around his shoulders like many friends (even guys) will due. Even in high school I did this with my guy friends and we would joke about it. It's like a straight way of showing physical emotion and is not suppose to be taken sexually. Can anyone shine some light on the subject for me. I did email him and aplogize for freaking him out. But I still don't see why he would freak out like that. Thanks in advance for any help you all can provide.

[Paul M]

A bit of a strange question for a vbulletin forum, even if this is the lounge.

[Danecookie]

Originally Posted by Paul M

A bit of a strange question for a vbulletin forum, even if this is the lounge.

lolllll ditto

[Reeve of shinra]

Well he may have been sexually abused in some way as a kid or he's somewhat homophobic or he may even be gay but doesnt want to acknlowdge it.

[Roms]

Originally Posted by Reeve of shinra

Well he may have been sexually abused in some way as a kid or he's somewhat homophobic or he may even be gay but doesnt want to acknlowdge it.

I agree. People are raised differently, you've basically answered your own question when you said; "I grew up in a family where physical contact between two people even of the same gender was normal. As long as it did not occur below the waist of above knee. Such things as hugging, pats on the back, arms on each other's shoulder.". For example I was raised that boys don't cry, show a lot of emotion, or get touchy feely...

Who knows your friend may be confused about his own sexuality and trying to sort things out...

Yeah, Thanks guys. Do you have any recommendations for me. If he is struggling with something shouldn't I offer my help? Should I maybe talk to him about it. I sent him an email apologizing for my actions and that I didn't mean to offend him but I'm use to having physical contact with people. Thanks again guys.

[Roms]

Originally Posted by eCybris

Yeah, Thanks guys. Do you have any recommendations for me. If he is struggling with something shouldn't I offer my help? Should I maybe talk to him about it. I sent him an email apologizing for my actions and that I didn't mean to offend him but I'm use to having physical contact with people. Thanks again guys.

In my opinion if he's going through something it's up to him to come to you if he wants to talk about it. It's something he has to work through if that's a case or seek professional help.... I would just apologize and tell him it wasn't anything personal just how you were raised, you're just friendly. If he can accept that and move on just be more careful about getting touchy in the future. If he can't accept your apology he wasn't as good of a friend as you thought.

[Reeve of shinra]

Just respect his space, thats all you can do really.

Thanks