Goatse.cx hack

About

This is a simple hack that replaces evil goatse.cx links with a friendly link to gratuitous kitty pictures at www.oralse.cx

This should work on all versions of vB but has only been tested in v2.0.3


Code

In functions.php, add the following function anywhere you please...I've put it above the function censortext to keep the hack all in one place.

PHP Code:

// ###################### Start stri_replace #####################
// Case-insensitive str_replace function found on php.net

function stri_replace($searchFor, $replaceWith, $string, $offset = 0) { 
    
    $lsearchFor = strtolower($searchFor); 
    $lstring = strtolower($string); 
    $newPos = strpos($lstring, $lsearchFor, $offset); 
    
    if (strlen($newPos) == 0) { 
        return($string); 
    } else {
        $left = substr($string, 0, $newPos); 
        $right = substr($string, $newPos + strlen($searchFor)); 
        $newStr = $left . $replaceWith . $right; 
        return stri_replace($searchFor, $replaceWith, $newStr, $newPos + strlen($replaceWith)); 
    } 
} 


At the top of the function censortext replace the following code:

PHP Code:

// ###################### Start censortext #######################
function censortext($text) {
  global $enablecensor,$censorwords,$censorword,$censorchar; 


with this:

PHP Code:

// ###################### Start censortext #######################
function censortext($text) {
  global $enablecensor,$censorwords,$censorword,$censorchar;
  
  //start goatse hack 
  $text = stri_replace("http://www.goatse.cx","http://www.oralse.cx",$text);
  $text = stri_replace("http://goatse.cx","http://oralse.cx",$text);
  //end goatse 


That is all folks! People can now blindly click links in the knowledge that they won't be faced with Mr Goatse, but instead a friendly little kitten

[merk]

lol.

I wouldnt just ban people who past that link on my board.

Nice little hack there

[Admin]

LOL good idea.

[Dakota]

*Warning...do not click the link*

I would also suggest adding www.comp-u-geek.net

[KuraFire]

We simply censored the words goatse, goatse.cx, goatsey(.cx), g0ats3(.cx)....

Works, too. But if a user REALLY wants to be annoying, he just makes a refresh page somewhere on geocities that sends the surfer to goatse, and links to that refresh page. You can't do anything against that...

(except for just banning that user ^_^)

[amykhar]

Sorry for the interruption, but is this really a problem on boards? Yikes.

Amy

[Dalius]

Hehe
This works!
Thanks

[grumpy]

Originally posted by Dakota
*Warning...do not click the link*

LOL! I wish they'd posted that in the original post, I REALLY wish I hadn't been curious about this.


This link has not been posted on my forums, but I can see a lot of possibilities for it. People that insist on spamming my forum with links to sites not allowed can easily be diverted, it can be a better substitute for the censor in some instances. Thanks

[DefSTONED]

Yeah, I'm sorry that I didn't warn you about what's at the site...but that is why I didn't link it

I see the link posted on many forums to mock newbies and the like, it's not a major problem but a few of us thought would be a nice idea for any linkage of Mr Goatse to point somewhere nice.

[Admin]

You can also create a replcament variable, that will replace goatse.cx with oralse.cx.