A good feeling

[Rapscallion]

One of my forumers is clinically depressed. He's not had a good life so far, but I'll not go into details.

Another forumer started to date him, and we made it clear to her that there were dangers. Turns out she's pretty much a serial monogamist and dumped him after having already started a relationship with another bloke from the forum. Crap happens. Displeasure has been made evident.

As I said, guy's depressive. My moderating team went beyond the call of duty, including international phone calls. He didn't manage to kill himself thanks to their efforts.

Gives me hope.

Rapscallion

[Dean C]

Whilst it's nice what you're doing, it's a dangerous game. You should get in touch with his family.

[Lynne]

I think it's great that you guys were there for him, but he really needs a support system that is right there for him. If there is anyway you can contact his family or a real friend of his, that would really help out a lot.

[Rapscallion]

I was omitting quite a few details deliberately. Part of what happened is that one of my team managed to speak to his sister, who hadn't realised how bad he'd got. He's receiving outpatient treatment and is far better now.

Guy at work volunteers at the samaritans and has given me some advice about what to do if it happens again. We lucked through to a certain extent, but without any real training. He knows we're here now.

I had to make a separate forum visible only to the ex-girlfriend and her new beau and the team, where they were stuck (no PMs, couldn't post threads, only reply in threads we made), until I was certain they had him on ignore to make sure the point was made.

Rapscallion

[Lynne]

I don't envy you having to deal with that. It must have been (and still is, I'm sure) a very stressful situation for everyone involved.

[Rapscallion]

Right now, I've got a case of the warm fuzzies. He's getting the treatment he needs, his best members of his family are aware of what's going on and stepping in to help, and the moderating team went beyond the call of duty. Must admit, I was clenching my jaw quite a bit at the time :/

I had to tone down the riot act that I read to the new beau and fainting damsel. Shame, but professionality stuck its nose in.

The moderators are now involved in working out a betting sheet for when she's going to dump him.

Rapscallion

[Rapscallion]

After the latest shenanigans, I've laid claim to her latest relationship collapsing in Jan/Feb.

The fainting damsel put up a thread about the engagement with the new beau and how they were going to have two weddings (both are currently students, so not much money, they've met once so far and have had a long distance relationship for three months).

Yeah, that didn't go down well. He's better and now nursing a hangover, but...

*sigh*

Rapscallion

[GSeybold]

Good intention of course, but bad mistake. You should have referred him to mental health help and stayed out of it. You have now involved yourself legally. I know, crappy but reality. This won't be last to time this happens with this individual and you could get caught in both a moral and legal mess. Personal responsibility is necessary and anonymous intervention from some mod or admin can be the wrong kind of intervention. Put a link to a suicide hotline on your forum.

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline...rsButtons.aspx

[Rapscallion]

I took quite a bit of advice from a guy at work who volunteers at the Samaritans. I wouldn't say I know what I'm doing, but I know far better.

The alternative is to do nothing and let him sink. I'll be here if he needs me.

Rapscallion

[GSeybold]

I know it's really a hard position to be in but I assume neither you or your mods are qualified to handle these types of situation which can turn deadly by a mere word. The advice from your guy friends shouldn't even be in the picture as he won't be dealing with the legal fallout should something happen. I have to deal with this considerably on my forum. You are doing something by saying something like, ' please seek mental health counseling from a qualified healthcare provider" and also provide that link. You are doing more for him this way than anyway else. It's really hard cause as humans we want so much to help but in these lawsuit happy times, we are sticking our necks on the line.

--------------- Added [DATE]1258272622[/DATE] at [TIME]1258272622[/TIME] ---------------

Hey Raps,
Here is a forum you may want to look at. Hope this helps
http://www.suicideforum.com/index.php