small hack if possible but not sure if can be done

[Mr_P]

ok tried the above and nothing shows - i put the code in index.php

i used the code from above this morning and it worked on my local copy but when i went on web to test it thats when i kept getting the errors.
Basically im having probs knowing where is best place to put the code as php is not something i am good at.

Also on a final note do these commands have to be supported by your host and if so do that mean i will either have to contact my web provider and see if they can switch them on

Or am i flogging a dead horse - i know its a lot of hazzle just to see an on/offline gif but to me its deffo worth it so all help is appreciated.