How about adding tons of tacky DHTML effects to tables that make them float around the page, here's a quick js code i whipped up which will make links disappear on mouseover, very annoying it would be - Just stick it in your footer template:
Code:
<script type='text/javascript'>
<!--
function initHideMO(Element){
Element = document.getElementsByTagName(Element)
for(i=0;i<Element.length;i++){
Element[i].onmouseover = function(){this.style.display='none'}
Element[i].onmouseout = function(){this.style.display=''}
}
}
initHideMO('a')
-->
</script>
To make it work with other HTML elements, just add: