Universal Laws

[ShawnV]

I ran across these somewhere, anyways the last one is spot on.

If you got a good one, add it to the list.


# Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

# Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

# Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

# Law of the Telephone: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

# Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

# Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

# Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

# Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

# Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

# Law of Bio-mechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

# Law of the Theater: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

# Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, you boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

# Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

# Law of Rugs and Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpeting.

# Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

# Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

# Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

# Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

# Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.


_V