When members have a sense of 'entitlement'

[MPDev]

Have you ever run a site where the long-time members start to feel a sense of entitlement in decisions on how you run your site? You know the types, been around a while and gotten to know the others; but never paid a dime towards hosting or spent a minute actually doing any work on the site like Moderating or Admining, quick to complain, impatient when it comes to updates or new features (one I installed an Arcade hack and was hammered for more games within hours of posting it.). Yeah, those guys (and gals).

It's seems enivitible that at some point someone (or a small group) will start demanding changes - or use the 'my way or I'm outta here' approach to address issues. As an admin of several boards I've encountered this problem many times; some of the most vocal of my members seem to get on a rage where the scorched earth approach is their solution - trash the owners, trash the moderators and, finally, trash other members. Make so much noise and then proclaim their exit in a thread titled, "I'm outta here" proclaiming their hatred for how the site is run.

I usually deal with these trouble makers with simple and polite notes which say something to the effect of, "Thank you for your time on our site, it's been a pleasure having you here, but it would seem you have outgrown our little community. I wish you the best as you persue your interests elsewhere." and wait for them to either change their tune or leave on their own before taking the step of banning them.

I'm curious how others handle people like this on their site - it has to be the least enjoyable aspect of running a forum - dealing with unappreciative members; so when you are confronted with members who feel entitled to a say in how you run your site, how do you respond?

[Boofo]

Since my site is so new and I have not had that problem so far, I'm thinking of using your little message line there as a stop-all to such actions before they get out of hand. I concur fully with your assessment. Thank you, sir.

[MPDev]

I've found that over the years my tastes and interests have changed; sometimes I am very active in my communities, others times I am not. I've run community sites for a long time and what keeps me interested is nudging the direction of the site so that it matches my interests - as you can imagine some people are very uncomfortable with changes of any kind. They want it their way, the way they expect it to be or no way; I've found this to be particularily true on sites with a diverse range of ages - teens into adulthood.

I've seen alot of people come and go, I gave up trying to please everyone a long time ago. After all, I'm the guy paying the bills, so it seems reasonable to me that I should determine the direction of the site. I try to be receptive to ideas and suggestions, but nothing gets under my skin more than members who have a sense that they are the ones who should be determining how you run your site or spend your time.

But no matter how level-headed you play it, you can expect alot of pushback from even a few members whenever you do even the smallest of things. How we handle those people and how we keep our interest in the site strong is an important issue that faces everyone who runs their own community.

[Boofo]

I found out from running my old coding site that is you state from the beginning of the very first uprising what will be tolerated and what won't be, and STICK to that philosophy, then they subsequent uprisings seem to happen few and far between. It's when you allow them to go on voicing their objections, that the trouble starts.

[MPDev]

Which is fine, but its this sense of entitlement that I'm referring to which causes members to 'forget' what the rules are and suddenly start trying to force change or demand respect.

An iron fist can work, but for the long term being able to navigate these troubled waters often requires more diplomacy than ultimatiums. But as to the reason for this thread - I'm interested in hearing how others handle the rollercoaster called Administration so that they don't reach 'burn out' too soon.

[smacklan]

ban 'em all and let God sort 'em out!

[Boofo]

It's "Ban 'em all and let God sort [high]it[/high] out", I believe.

[Azhrialilu]

What if you don't believe in a god?

[Boofo]

Still put it on his shoulders to be carried out. That way, you are clear of any aftermath of it.

[smacklan]

Originally Posted by Boofo

It's "Ban 'em all and let God sort [high]it[/high] out", I believe.

Mine is a play on "kill them all and let God sort them out" A popular saying in the military