Hack Request- User's can get their status!

[Jeepha]

I have 120k registered users and I get about 150 emails a day on "why cant I post?"

It would be nice if they could click on a link that would look up their status and give them a canned answer: (Poorly written examples below)

Awaiting email validation:

"WHen you registered to the forums, an email was sent to the address you registered that contains information on how you can validate your account. CLICK HERE to send a new Email Validation...."

COPPA:

"You are registered as a child under age 13. When you registered a COPPA form was emailed to the address you provided for your parents. This form must be filled out and signed, then returned to us via fax or email. CLICK HERE to send a new form to your parents."

Unregistered:

"You need to register to the message boards before you can post. If you have already registered a user name, then you need to log in before you attempt to post."

I apologize if this hack already exists, I have looked for an hour and found nothing.