Similar Threads?

[Dr.CustUmz]

I am far from a beginner with vB, but something I have never really played around with was similar threads, and I'm facing some issues.

I have enabled the following options:
Automatic Similar Thread Search (Message Searching Options)
Show Similar Threads? (Thread Display Options (showthread))

I have rebuilt similar threads vie update counters.

I have adjusted Similar Threads Relevance Threshold from everything between 1 to 10

I have created new threads with random titles and made sure to use same words, all threads are tagged with similar tags, and contain almost identical content.

Yet nothing is displaying similar threads...

Example of my threads:
Test Thread one
Automatic Thingamajig
Test Thread Two
Automatic Thingy
Something Similar
Cat
Dog
Dog Eats Cat
Test Thread Three
Nothing Similar

I've even repaired, and optimized my tables numerous times.

Why arent similar threads showing up?!