i want to move the friends list over above the visitor msgs, i guess the 1st step would be to create a plugin ? which hook location would i use? i would be very greatful for any help
Go to your test site and go into debug mode (add $config['Misc']['debug'] = true; to your config.php file) and you'll see a list of all hooks called, in order, on the bottom of the page.
i want the friends bit moved out of the member profile sidebar and over above the visitor msgs, i would also like the about me on the same page as well and do away with the tabs all together, i just want one page and everything on it about me then below that box the friends list, and below that box the visitor msgs.