oops turns out I mess up other stuff with my apparent fix so I do need more help, apologies
here is the code with the change from before in dark green (not much changed)
Code:
<!-- post #$post[postid] -->
<if condition="$show['spacer']">
$spacer_open
<div id="edit$post[postid]" style="padding:0px 0px $stylevar[cellpadding]px 0px">
<if condition="!$post['islastshown']"><!-- this is not the last post shown on the page --></if>
</if>
<table class="tborder2" id="post$post[postid]" cellpadding="$stylevar[cellpadding]" cellspacing="$stylevar[cellspacing]" border="0" width="470px" align="left">
<tr>
<td class="thead" $post[scrolltothis]>
<div class="normal" style="float:$stylevar[right]">
<if condition="$show['postcount']">#<a href="showpost.php?$session[sessionurl]p=$post[postid]&postcount=$post[postcount]" target="new" rel="nofollow" id="postcount$post[postid]" name="$post[postcount]"><strong>$post[postcount]</strong></a> </if>
<if condition="$show['reputationlink']"><a href="reputation.php?$session[sessionurl]p=$post[postid]" rel="nofollow"><img class="inlineimg" src="$stylevar[imgdir_button]/reputation.gif" alt="<phrase 1="$post[username]">$vbphrase[add_to_xs_reputation]</phrase>" border="0" /></a> </if>
<if condition="$show['reportlink']"><a href="report.php?$session[sessionurl]p=$post[postid]" rel="nofollow"><img class="inlineimg" src="$stylevar[imgdir_button]/report.gif" alt="$vbphrase[report_bad_post]" border="0" /></a> </if>
$post[iplogged]
<if condition="$show['inlinemod']">
<input type="checkbox" name="plist[$postid]" id="plist_$postid" style="vertical-align:middle; padding:0px; margin:0px 0px 0px 5px" value="$post[checkbox_value]" onclick="inlineMod.toggle(this)" />
</if>
</div>
<div class="normal">
<!-- status icon and date -->
<a name="post$post[postid]"><img class="inlineimg" src="$stylevar[imgdir_statusicon]/post_$post[statusicon].gif" alt="$post[statustitle]" border="0" /></a>
<if condition="!$show['announcement']">
$post[postdate]<if condition="!$show['detailedtime']">, $post[posttime]</if>
<else />
<phrase 1="$post[startdate]" 2="$post[enddate]">$vbphrase[x_until_y]</phrase>
</if>
$post[firstnewinsert]
<!-- / status icon and date -->
</div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="alt2" style="padding:0px">
<!-- user info -->
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="$stylevar[cellpadding]" border="0" width="100%">
<tr>
<if condition="$show['avatar']"><td class="alt2"><a href="member.php?$session[sessionurl]u=$post[userid]"><img src="$post[avatarurl]" $post[avwidth] $post[avheight] alt="<phrase 1="$post[username]">$vbphrase[xs_avatar]</phrase>" border="0" /></a></td></if>
<td nowrap="nowrap">
<div id="postmenu_$post[postid]">
<if condition="$show['profile']">
<a class="bigusername" href="member.php?$session[sessionurl]u=$post[userid]">$post[musername]</a>
$post[onlinestatus]
<script type="text/javascript"> vbmenu_register("postmenu_$post[postid]", true); </script>
<else />
$post[musername]
</if>
</div>
<if condition="$post['usertitle']"><div class="smallfont">$post[usertitle]</div></if>
<if condition="$post['rank']"><div class="smallfont">$post[rank]</div></if>
</td>
<td width="100%"> </td>
<td valign="top" nowrap="nowrap">
<div class="smallfont">
<if condition="$post['joindate']"><div>$vbphrase[join_date]: $post[joindate]</div></if>
<if condition="$post['field2']"><div>$vbphrase[location_perm]: $post[field2]</div></if>
<if condition="$post['age']"><div>$vbphrase[age]: $post[age]</div></if>
<div>
$vbphrase[posts]: $post[posts]
</div>
<if condition="$show['reputation']"><if condition="$show['reppower']">$vbphrase[reppower]: $post[reppower] </if><div>$post[reputationdisplay]</div></if>
<div>$post[icqicon] $post[aimicon] $post[msnicon] $post[yahooicon] $post[skypeicon]</div>
</div>
</td>
</tr>
</table>
<!-- / user info -->
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="alt1" id="td_post_$post[postid]">
<!-- message, attachments, sig -->
<if condition="$show['messageicon'] OR $post['title']">
<!-- icon and title -->
<div class="smallfont">
<if condition="$show['messageicon']"><img class="inlineimg" src="$post[iconpath]" alt="$post[icontitle]" border="0" /></if>
<if condition="$post['title']"><strong>$post[title]</strong></if>
</div>
<hr size="1" style="color:$stylevar[tborder_bgcolor]" />
<!-- / icon and title -->
</if>
<!-- message -->
<div id="post_message_$post[postid]">$post[message]</div>
<!-- / message -->
<if condition="$show['attachments']">
<!-- attachments -->
<div style="padding:$stylevar[cellpadding]px">
<if condition="$show['thumbnailattachment']">
<fieldset class="fieldset">
<legend>$vbphrase[attached_thumbnails]</legend>
<div style="padding:$stylevar[formspacer]px">
$post[thumbnailattachments]
</div>
</fieldset>
</if>
<if condition="$show['imageattachment']">
<fieldset class="fieldset">
<legend>$vbphrase[attached_images]</legend>
<div style="padding:$stylevar[formspacer]px">
$post[imageattachments]
</div>
</fieldset>
</if>
<if condition="$show['imageattachmentlink']">
<fieldset class="fieldset">
<legend>$vbphrase[attached_images]</legend>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="$stylevar[formspacer]" border="0">
$post[imageattachmentlinks]
</table>
</fieldset>
</if>
<if condition="$show['otherattachment']">
<fieldset class="fieldset">
<legend>$vbphrase[attached_files]</legend>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="$stylevar[formspacer]" border="0">
$post[otherattachments]
</table>
</fieldset>
</if>
<if condition="$show['moderatedattachment']">
<fieldset class="fieldset">
<legend>$vbphrase[attachments_pending_approval]</legend>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="$stylevar[formspacer]" border="0">
$post[moderatedattachments]
</table>
</fieldset>
</if>
</div>
<!-- / attachments -->
</if>
<if condition="$post['signature']">
<!-- sig -->
<div>
__________________<br />
$post[signature]
</div>
<!-- / sig -->
</if>
<if condition="$show['postedited']">
<!-- edit note -->
<div class="smallfont"> <hr size="1" style="color:$stylevar[tborder_bgcolor]" />
<em>
<phrase 1="$post[edit_username]" 2="$post[edit_date]" 3="$post[edit_time]">$vbphrase[last_edited_by_x_on_y_at_z]</phrase>.
<if condition="$post['edit_reason']">$vbphrase[reason]: $post[edit_reason]</if>
</em>
</div>
<!-- / edit note -->
</if>
<div align="$stylevar[right]">
<!-- controls -->
<if condition="$post['editlink']">
<a href="$post[editlink]" name="vB::QuickEdit::$post[postid]"><img src="$stylevar[imgdir_button]/edit.gif" alt="$vbphrase[edit_delete_message]" border="0" /></a>
</if>
<if condition="$post['forwardlink']">
<a href="$post[forwardlink]"><img src="$stylevar[imgdir_button]/forward.gif" alt="$vbphrase[forward_message]" border="0" /></a>
</if>
<if condition="$post['replylink']">
<a href="$post[replylink]" rel="nofollow"><img src="$stylevar[imgdir_button]/<if condition="$post['forwardlink']">reply_small<else />quote</if>.gif" alt="$vbphrase[reply_with_quote]" border="0" /></a>
</if>
<if condition="$show['quickreply'] AND !$show['threadedmode']">
<a href="$post[replylink]" rel="nofollow" id="qr_$post[postid]" onclick="return false"><img src="$stylevar[imgdir_button]/quickreply.gif" alt="$vbphrase[quick_reply_to_this_message]" border="0" /></a>
</if>
<if condition="$show['moderated']">
<img src="$stylevar[imgdir_misc]/moderated.gif" alt="$vbphrase[moderated_post]" border="0" />
</if>
<!-- / controls -->
</div>
<!-- message, attachments, sig -->
</td>
</tr>
</table>
<!-- post $post[postid] popup menu -->
<div class="vbmenu_popup" id="postmenu_$post[postid]_menu" style="display:none">
<table cellpadding="4" cellspacing="1" border="0">
<tr>
<td class="thead">$post[username]</td>
</tr>
<if condition="$show['profile']">
<tr><td class="vbmenu_option"><a href="member.php?$session[sessionurl]u=$post[userid]">$vbphrase[view_public_profile]</a></td></tr>
</if>
<if condition="$show['pmlink']">
<tr><td class="vbmenu_option"><a href="private.php?$session[sessionurl]do=newpm&u=$post[userid]" rel="nofollow"><phrase 1="$post[username]">$vbphrase[send_private_message_to_x]</phrase></a></td></tr>
</if>
<if condition="$show['emaillink']">
<tr><td class="vbmenu_option"><a href="sendmessage.php?$session[sessionurl]do=mailmember&u=$post[userid]" rel="nofollow"><phrase 1="$post[username]">$vbphrase[send_email_to_x]</phrase></a></td></tr>
</if>
<if condition="$show['homepage']">
<tr><td class="vbmenu_option"><a href="$post[homepage]"><phrase 1="$post[username]">$vbphrase[visit_xs_homepage]</phrase></a></td></tr>
</if>
<if condition="$show['search']">
<tr><td class="vbmenu_option"><a href="search.php?$session[sessionurl]do=finduser&u=$post[userid]" rel="nofollow"><phrase 1="$post[username]">$vbphrase[find_all_posts_by_x]</phrase></a></td></tr>
</if>
<if condition="$post['userid'] AND $show['member']">
<tr><td class="vbmenu_option"><a href="profile.php?$session[sessionurl]do=addlist&userlist=buddy&u=$post[userid]"><phrase 1="$post[username]">$vbphrase[add_x_to_buddy_list]</phrase></a></td></tr>
</if>
</table>
</div>
<!-- / post $post[postid] popup menu -->
<if condition="$show['spacer']">
</div>
$spacer_close
</if>
<!-- / post #$post[postid] -->
here is what private messages look like at the moment
here is the normal thread view
as you can see the control panel in the user area means that its too wide but if I alter the postbit to make it fit then the ones in normal threads don't use the whole width available