You're not fooling anyone. It is obvious to far more than me that you have a problem with this person and express it in not so subtle ways at every oportunity. You can continue to ignore this about yourself and go on embarasing the position of moderator here, but you can't hide the facts.
If you don't know why you do this moderation, as you yourself say, then you probably shouldn't. Do something useful like release a mod.
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