I gave up on this hack and I found a solution that works well enough...
What I did was I created a new forum on my site where all groups can see the forum, post new threads, and see their own threads but they can not see other threads started by other members.
Next, I went in and set my settings so that Admins and Supermods can view and reply to all threads...
Finally, I installed this mod:
https://vborg.vbsupport.ru/showthread.php?t=108888
And set it to require information like persons e-mail, username (if applicable), and a pick list with items describing the nature of their problem.
Then, I went into my templates and redirected the "Contact Us" button to go to the "Add New Thread" url of my new support ticket forum.
It works well but I do still have one issue in that when a guest submits a trouble ticket the forums code tryies to redirect them to view the thread they just started... Well, I don't let guests see their thread so they get a no-permissions error. Here is more info on that:
https://vborg.vbsupport.ru/showthread.php?t=114561
It actually works pretty good other then the ugly redirect for guests...