edit the modifyoptions template and comment out the lines:
<!--
<td>
<phrase 1="private.php$session[sessionurl_q]">$vbphrase[features_private_messaging_system]</phrase>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td><label for="cb_receivepm"><input type="checkbox" name="options[receivepm]" value="1" id="cb_receivepm" onclick="toggle_disabled(this.checked, 'pmoptions')" $checked[receivepm] />$vbphrase[enable_private_messaging]</label><input type="hidden" name="set_options[receivepm]" value="1" /></td> -->
then your users will not have the option to turn off the private messaging. sorry disable was the wrong word to use.
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