[evenmonkeys]

I can help you... I'm replying right now...

The first thing you need to do is create a php file. All that needs to be in the file is what you're trying to accomplish. You don't need to add the include crap. Once you got all that finished, upload it to your site. Keep the location in mind.

Next step is creating the hook. Go to your admincp > Plugin System > Add New Plugin... Now enter this information in.

Hook Location: global_start (1/4 down)
Title: Whatever
PHP Plugin Code:

ob_start();
include('http://site.com/file.php');
$variable = ob_get_contents();
ob_end_clean();

Active: Yes

Some details on that... Specify the location of the file. Change variable to match your liking. This is what you're going to use when you call for the file.

If this is going in your header template, enter in $variable wherever you would like to call for it.

Hope this helps.