Update.. As it seems, nothing was resolved. In my FINAL ditch attempt i asked to be moved off the VDECK servers and put on one of my current CPANEL servers.
They advised against it stating they were moving all their clients to VDECK. If the CPANEL move resolves the situation, i would hope they look into it and consider some of the damage they would be causing.
The move over to the CPANEL server was not easy. Easy for me to follow instructions and get it done right on my end. But again, i had to contact IPOWERWEB and walk them through the issues i was encountering (could not connect..) The level 1 tech Mark said everything looks fine, of course it wasnt. So again, running their level 2 techs script (Ben's script) and informing him of the findings (cant find DB), they then resolved it. Is this really that hard for them?
All i ask of them is to make it work.
Ben (level 2 tech and lead at times) stated to me that our server was demanding on their sql due to the # of users and it was a very popular site, he suggested a dedicated server...

... 450 users? demanding? taxing on the sql? WTF ? I pointed out to Ben that our other site has 5000 users with the same modifications done, and 4x the size of sql db... he squashed that idea. I would hope so Ben :ermm:
I will keep you guys updated on any further findings. I appreciate finding posts that have some decent information, so i hope im providing that to some other users searching on this company.