Okay, let me see if I get this...
What you're saying is that, at the time the thread is displayed (or, more specifically, when each post within the thread is displayed) that a query can be performed to find the poster of the parent. When this is done, one has to make arrangements in case the parent message has been deleted.
If the query is made at the time that the reply is created (I think this is how the quote bbcode gets it), then that value needs to be stored somewhere. Quote simply puts it into the body of the message. Can a field be added to the post record so that the postbit can just call it from there? In that case, even if the parent message was deleted, the "to" value would still exist and be valid.
--don
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