1st = 1minute
2nd = 5minute
3rd = 15 minute
load average.
You don't need load balancing if you just got 1 webserver and 1 DB server. Just change config.php of vBulletin to point to the DB server, make sure that it does accept non-local connections for the account and you're settled.
Both servers should be cross-connected via seperate NICs. Make sure that you do use the "internal" IP of the DB server in config.php
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