Err... Kevin? Everything you just suggested has no meaning whatsoever to anyone who isn't a server geek and wants to offer email signups off their site that integrate with VB.
From purely a third party non-user perspective running on gut feel, SocketMail looks like the better choice than HiveMail. Poor HM can't seem to get their head around making their system POP friendly, and if you look at their forum they seem to have a history of announcing forthcoming releases that never happen while just attracting trolls generally. Even so, there are some pretty big boards out there using it (both VB and IPB).
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