If you don't have CPanel (which is sad, it is a wonderful tool, yet semi-expensive for the ISP), just email your ISP asking them to add your vBulletin mysql username to the phpBB database. The same username needs to be in both databases, just for the sake of the script, and PHP not handling multiple connections well.
And, I haven't tried it, but I have a feeling that can't be done with phpMyAdmin unless you had mySQL root-level access...because otherwise anyone could add their username to your database and steal passwords/delete it/mess around/etc...
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