Well here is something that I think might help. Have a click through page that has a disclaimer about PMs not really being private and can be monitored for the general safely of the board and the users on the board.
Yes this could be a real pain for those that spend more time using the PMs than the board itself. It can even be an option that each user can turn off in their profile, but also by doing that they agree to the use of the PM system.
I think "private" in the PM leads many people to think they are truely private.
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