[Xenon]

Here are some things i found, hope at least some of you can laugh about

The George in question is none other than President Bush himself!!!!!!
Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this today after Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China.
HU'S ON FIRST By James Sherman
(We take you now to the Oval Office.)



George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George: Great. Lay it on me.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That's what I want to know.

Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes.

George: I mean the fellow's name.

Condi: Hu.

George: The guy in China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The new leader of China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The Chinaman!

Condi: Hu is leading China.

George: Now whaddya' asking me for?

Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi: That's the man's name.

George: That's who's name?

Condi: Yes.

George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.

Condi: That's correct.

George: Then who is in China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir is in China?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Then who is?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.

Condi: You want Kofi?

George: No.

Condi: You don't want Kofi.

George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi?

George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi: And call who?

George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

George: Will you stay out of China?!

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi.

George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone.)

Condi: Rice, here.

George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?


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On a chain of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:

2 Italien men
1 Italien woman

2 English men
1 English woman

2 French men
1 French woman

2 Bulgarian men
1 Bulgarian woman

2 American men
1 American woman

2 German men
1 German woman

2 Japanese men
1 Japanese woman

2 Greek men
1 Greek woman

2 Irish men
1 Irish woman

One month later, on these absolutely stunnig islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occured:

- One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

- The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a m?nage ? trois.

- The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternate visits with the German woman.

- The two Greek men are having a coffee and playing cards together and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.

- The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.

- The two Bulgarian men took one look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming to the English island.

- The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.

- The two Irish men have divided their island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets foggy after several liters of coconut whiskey, but they're satisfied because the English aren't having fun.

- The two American men are thinking of suicide because the American woman will not shut up and complains relentlessly about her body, the true nature of feminism, what the sun is doing to her skin and hair, that she can do anything they can do, the division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her better than they do, and how her relationship with her mother is the cause of her problems and why didn't they bring a cell phone so they could call 911 and get rescued so she can get her nails done and go shopping.