You can disable PM feature of your board via Admin CP/Settings if that's what you want.
As for BuddyList there is no easy solution but frankly I didnt get how this can be abused? Putting someone in your buddy list does not give you any advantage except noticing his board presence more easily. Well this wouldnt be a big deal for anyone to access this info because they can track this via who's online too. So IMO it's unnecessary to try to disable it. But if you are determined, follow Xenon's path and remove template codes so people couldnt see any traces of it in your board..
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