Thanks everyone, I finnally got it to work as I wanted it to, now on to modiying the remaining templates (I am going to hate having to redo all this for vB3

).
The problem was I had the queries in global.php and in the PHP Parsed code, for some reason, having them in both was causing a conflict, by taking it out of the PHP Parsed Code section, it worked just fine.
Once again, thanks (Mr.E, Logician, and Xenon),
- SaintDog