[AusPhotography]

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A friend of mine works in a camera store. The other day a very
confused looking woman approached the counter and handed my friend
a camera. She said "I took pictures, but I forgot to have film in
the camera. Can you please get them out of the camera for me?"

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One day I was working in the darkroom with my girlfriend. Things
started out negative but soon I was enlarging. As it started to
develop, I told her we should stop before we got into a fix, but
she said it would all come out in the wash.
The Black & White photo process summarized...
why, what were you thinking?

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How to Photograph a New Puppy

1. Remove film from box and load camera.
2. Remove film box from puppy’s mouth and throw in trash.
3. Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle.
4. Choose a suitable background for photo.
5. Mount camera on tripod and focus.
6. Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.
7. Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.
8. Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees.
9. Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand.
10. Get tissue and clean nose print from lens.
11. Take flash cube from puppy’s mouth and throw in trash.
12. Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy’s nose.
13. Put magazines back on coffee table.
14. Try to get puppy’s attention by squeaking toy over your head.
15. Replace your glasses and check camera for damage.
16. Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say, “No, outside! No, outside!”
17. Clean up mess.
18. Fix a drink.
19. Sit back in Lazy Boy with drink and resolve to teach puppy “sit” and “stay” the first thing in the morning.