Chase, I learned via research and trial and error with my membership, that smart phone users want all the toys, bells and whistles to work the same as they do with a PC browser.
So I came up with a clean, full-featured free theme and pinned it to the "Detect and assign mobile style" modification. Everyone happy. Their mobile browsers are assigned to the skin, and they all love it.
Note: The one I chose is only 198kb on pageload. Very light.
You can go here to test your mobile skins:
http://www.webpagetest.org/mobile
Good luck!