You can only use a small set of functions in conditionals (see the manual here):
http://www.vbulletin.com/docs/html/m...n_conditionals (like the list in the error message)
So the way around that of course is to make a plugin for the code which sets a variable that you can check in your template.
Something I just noticed recently - you can actually allow other functions in templates (see the bottom user comment on the above page), but that also requires a plugin.