it will take time; nothing comes free
it's true what they say...
you have to work hard and sacrifice a lot to be successful in life
don't give up on it - it will take a few years but you will start seeing a good return on your investment
suggestions...
I'm a vbseo fan and use it on our sites but (for you) I don't recommend it at this time. I recommend waiting until vb 4 comes out and use the SEO features that come with it.
Now, I'm only saying that because you seem reluctant on spending additional money on your project but if you have the funds to make the purchase - go for it.
Regardless of what anyone says - SEO is a good investment.
Do not neglect your family. You are doing this for them - if you lose them you'll have nothing. Family should be your #1 priority.
Personally, I make it a priority to spend time with the family every day - watching tv, going out on vacations, to the movies, go to parent/teacher conference, etc.
Get a usability review on your site...
there are some things that don't work well on it.
Here's something to get you started...
http://screencast.com/t/wjZik3crO