My apologies. But if you have a l;egal vBSEO license, your best bet is to submit a support ticket and/or post in the sitemap forum there. You'll likely get a much faster response. Chances are one of the support people will get your authorization for FTP access and sort it out for you.
As for urllist.txt, I don't know - you'll have to ask the developers that question.
I don't know what's going on with the pings. Do you have a Google Webmaster Central accounbt? If not, get one. Add your forum as a site and add a sitemap to that listing in Webmaster Central. If Google is having a problem retrieving your sitemap, they should indicate that via error messages.
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