Sounds like you've done your research, but there could be several reasons why your CPU load is that high, some of which have nothing to do with vbulletin.
Possibles could include:
- purposeful action (such as a DDOS)
- problems with email (high rejection or scanning)
- restrictive config settings in either apache, php, or mysql
- servers that also host DNS
- search engine spiders indexing your content
I think your host's feedback is questionable, but it is entirely possible that all of your application activity is valid and needs to be addressed.
One of the books I keep close, titled "Linux Server Hacks", offers some scenarios and suggested practices for determining the cause of utilization issues.