avoid spiny, fire, glitter, junk graphics that look like some geocities pages from 1998
No music, unless its 100% neccassary for the site
Depending on the site and the target, light pastelish colors are the way to go, or offering a dark alternative to match it also helps.
No, flash is horrible, avoid it at all costs
Even with broadband connections, keep the overall page size under 30-60k
Design for a 1024x768 resolution screen, keep javascript to a minimum and try to use as much CSS as possible
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