make sure your attachments aren't in the database, along with signature pics, avatars, and profile pics.
Check out the modification called vBOptimize here at vB.org it seems to save a few queries per page.
Also, yes it does sound like you've out grown shared hosting, at the very least you need a VPS to ensure fast loading pages and not have to worry about getting shut down if your linked to from a popular site.
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