I'm going to be honest w/ you...
phpBB... Decent
IPB... Decent
VBulletin... Like a honeycomb for Pooh Bear
Security etc.. best route = VBulletin
Overall Look and functionality = VBulletin
Basically you pay for this, you get support. You have all us coders on here who create mods and most are free and very great while a few charge etc.
The colors, that can be done very easily.
Basically, I wanted to be nice before you thought I was being mean... YOU need to research them all more thoroughly plain and simple as I read your first post and thought... you did not do your part but we need to do ours by telling you what you can learn on your own?
Just take your time or take my word, either way works for me
S-MAN