Yeah, that is quite odd that the admincp/modcp/mail server stop working, but the forum still functions fine.
The mail server is more relevant in my opinion, have you figured out why the mail server is dying?
I'd also enable debug for apache to try and gather some more info, as well as debug for the mail server.
If you tail the maillog, do you see any activity when they stop responding, whats in the mail queue?
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