I have no idea what was wrong and it was nothing contained in the scripts. Fresh installs would not work. Even a fresh install of php4 and vbulletin.
Solution: I deleted the entire site, moved it onto another area and it works beautifully. The vbportal hack that I hacked works great too. I'm going to post up my site to the site list now that its done.
http://www.thelawforums.com/forums/
Thanks guys. Hopefully after going through all this hell I can now give some advice back!