As a joke I'd like to punish certain users on my boards by making their posts into Swedish Chef speak. I found this code...
PHP Code:
#########################################################
# #
# PHP Encheferizer 0.9 (20-5-2003) #
# Convert English to Mock Swedish. #
# Ported to PHP by eamelink (Erik Bakker) #
# PHP Encheferizer website : http://bork.eamelink.nl #
# #
# Based on the original chef.x from John Hagerman. #
# More info about the original chef.x : #
# http://tbrowne.best.vwh.net/chef/ #
# #
# Works like : #
# $chef = new encheferizer(); #
# $swedish = $chef->encheferize($string); #
# #
#########################################################
class encheferizer
{
function encheferizer() {}
function encheferize($string)
{
$delimiters = " \n\t\\,<.>/?;:'\"[{]}|=+-_!@#$%^&*()~`";
$newline = "";
$word = "";
for($i = 0; $i < strlen($string); $i++){
$s = substr($string, $i, 1);
if(($position = strstr($delimiters, $s)) === false){
$word .= $s;
} else {
if(!empty($word)){
$newline .= $this->encheferizeWord($word);
$word = "";
}
if($s == "." || $s == "!"){
if(rand(0,3) == 1){
$newline .= ", Bork Bork Bork!";
} else {
$newline .= ".";
}
} else {
$newline .= $s;
}
}
}
$newline .= $this->encheferizeWord($word);
return $newline;
}
function encheferizeWord($word)
{
if(strtolower($word) == "bork"){
return $word;
}
$newword = "";
$i = 0;
while($i < strlen($word)){
$char = substr($word, $i, 1);
$isLast = ($i == strlen($word) - 1) ? true : false;
$iSeen = false;
if($i == 0){
switch($char){
case "e":
$newword = "i";
$i++;
continue 2;
break;
case "E":
$newword = "I";
$i++;
continue 2;
break;
case "o":
$newword = "oo";
$i++;
continue 2;
break;
case "O":
$newword = "Oo";
$i++;
continue 2;
break;
}
} else {
if($char == "e"){
if(!$isLast && substr($word, $i + 1, 1) == "w"){
$newword .= 'oo';
$i+=2;
continue;
} elseif($isLast){
$newword .= 'e-a';
$i++;
continue;
}
} elseif($char == "f"){
$newword .= "ff";
$i++;
continue;
} elseif($char == "i"){
if(!$isLast && substr($word, $i + 1, 1) == "r"){
$newword .= "ur";
$i+=2;
continue;
} elseif(!$iSeen){
$newword .= "ee";
$i++;
$iSeen = true;
continue;
}
} elseif($char == "o"){
if(!$isLast && substr($word, $i + 1, 1) == "w"){
$newword .= "oo";
$i+=2;
continue;
} else {
$newword .= "u";
$i++;
continue;
}
} elseif($i <= strlen($word - 4) && $char == "t" && substr($word, $i + 1, 1) == "i"
&& substr($word, $i + 2, 1) == "o" && substr($word, $i + 3, 1) == "n"){ // Caption -> Capshun
$newword .= "shun";
$i += 4;
continue;
} elseif($char == "u"){
$newword .= "oo";
$i++;
continue;
} elseif($char == "U"){
$newword .= "Oo";
$i++;
continue;
}
} // En of In-word rules
// Things that may be replaced anywhere
if($char == "A"){
if(!$isLast && substr($word, $i+1, 1) == "n"){
$newword .= "Un";
$i+=2;
continue;
} elseif(!$isLast && substr($word, $i+1, 1) == "u"){
$newword .= "Oo";
$i+=2;
continue;
} elseif(!$isLast){
$newword .= "E";
$i++;
continue;
}
} elseif($char == "a"){
if(!$isLast && substr($word, $i+1, 1) == "n"){
$newword .= "un";
$i+=2;
continue;
} elseif(!$isLast && substr($word, $i+1, 1) == "u"){
$newword .= "oo";
$i+=2;
continue;
} elseif(!$isLast){
$newword .= "e";
$i++;
continue;
}
} elseif($char == "e"){
if(!$isLast && substr($word, $i+1, 1) == "n" && $i == strlen($word) - 2){
$newword .= "ee";
$i+=2;
continue;
} elseif ($i > 0){
// Do nothing
}
} elseif($char == "t"){
if($i == strlen($word) -2 && substr($word, $i+1, $i) == "h"){
$newword .= "t";
$i+=2;
continue;
} elseif($i <= strlen($word) - 3 && substr($word, $i+1, 1) == "h" && substr($word, $i+2, 1) == "e"){
$newword .= "zee";
$i+=3;
continue;
}
} elseif($char == "T" && $i<= strlen($word)-3 && substr($word, $i+1, 1) == "h"
&& substr($word, $i+2, 1) == "e"){
$newword .= "Zee";
$i +=3;
continue;
} elseif($char == "v"){
$newword .= "f";
$i++;
continue;
} elseif($char == "V"){
$newword .= "F";
$i++;
continue;
} elseif($char == "w"){
$newword .= "v";
$i++;
continue;
} elseif($char == "W"){
$newword .= "V";
$i++;
continue;
}
$newword .= $char;
$i++;
} // End of FOR lus
return $newword;
}
}
// Now init our chefspeakers
$chefspeakers = array('438');
Problem with this code is it alters the text appearing in the bbcodes if I call it at postbit start and it messes with the html if I use it at postbit complete. Any ideas on how I might get this thing to leave any text occuring within html tags or bbcode tags alone?
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