Yeah, I've been searching since I first posted this and the closest is a promised working version of a paid hack on another site. I'd be willing to go that route if it were necessary.
I'm hoping someone will find this a useful enough request to toss it together - or give some indication on how I might do so myself (with my woeful and pathetic ability, yeah right).
Anyway, I'm still looking for a solution here if anyone's of a mind.
Krahl