Comments on 123FlashChat....
 

I like how 123flashchat looks, but I am told that i can only run
this on a dedicated server, which I am sure hurts this business..
is anyone running this on a shared server? and if so then how
is it working out for you...

I could see this needing a dedicated server if you had a lot of chatters,
I do not see why you could not install on a shared if you just
have a few users...

Comments?

Well 1st off they do there own hosting packages for this chat here mate http://www.123flashchat.com/host.html

But they do say this on there site with regard the program on shared hosting too

Can 123 flash chat run on shared hosting?

It requires a dedicated server or unrestricted shell account to run Java application on the server, but most shared hostings don't allow running standalone server application, therefore we suggest VDS (virtual dedicated server)/VPS(virtual private server) host plan which is cheaper than the dedicated server to run 123 flash chat Java server.
Only FTP access is not enough to install 123flashchat on your server, you'll need Telnet or SSH root account to install it.
If that's not what you have, fortunately we offer affordable chat hosting service too. You can get a chat room easily and leave chat room installation and maintenance all to us.
Note:
Even if we host chat for you, the existing database of your web site can still be seamlessly integrated with the chat after uploading a dynamic web application like a PHP, ASP or JSP file to your web host by following our further instructions.

I use addonchat because it's hosted offsite and completely integrates to vbulletin. The only problem is it ain't cheap.

Flashchat is also a great one to use
http://www.tufat.com/s_flash_chat_chatroom.htm

and min requirements too
?PHP 4.3.0 or higher?Ability to change the permissions of files and folders?Flash 8 Player or higher

I like 123flash chat, but I do not have the requirements, I think
I am leaning futher over to addonchat since you can customize
the chat to your website.

I think flashchat is out of date to be honest...and
I do not like the dark colors, and I have yet
to really see a customized flashchat...