Family members that want a forum and then lose interest
 

A couple of my family members have asked me to build them a forum.

Since I can not develop the site, post content and build backlinks for all of the sites at the same time, I wanted to stagger the release of the sites. All of this was explained to the family members. That if they would help with each other sites, then the sites could be released faster.

But the problem is, the family members lose interest real fast. If the traffic is not instant (within a few months), they think the site has failed and give up.

And now here I am, I have spent untold hours tweaking the themes, building backlinks, building content and the people that wanted the forums are no longer interested. The other family members that said they would help, they lost interest a long time ago - but they still want their own site.

Its like a circle of burden on me.

I have spent the last 9 month working on my sons site, only for him to say he is no longer interested.

My wifes forum - about 7 or 8 months old, and she will not hardly post on it. A couple of days ago she even mentioned selling it.

How do the members of this community deal with family members and friends that want "their own site"? This is a lot of work, only to have someone that wants to walk away from the project.

And then there is the money factor - 3 vbulletin licenses aint cheap.

Never work with family....

Doesn't really answer your question but it's very true...

Hehe. My husband wanted a site a year ago. I got a good deal on a server from my host, installed php/mysql/etc onto it (I'd never done that, so it was an interesting experiment for me), bought a license, and got the site up and running. Then it sat there while he and his friend tried to decide what they wanted on it. I finally told them if they didn't do something by the end of the month, I was gonna tell the host I no longer wanted the server. It's gone now. :cool:

It's quite simple really. You know your family inside out so must have expected this so why go for a software that costs you an arm and a leg when there are free alternatives to try? You could have easily started a forum using one of the free bulletinboards as a kind of probationary period and see how your family members coped with that and to see if their interests in the site went passed the 3 month mark.

Even for people who know what they are doing and to expect traffic will not be in constant flow have days when they feel like giving up you had to expect this coming and forsee what what going to happen in the long run. I'm not saying your to blame but you should have went for a free software.

Worst comes to the worse you can always sell the licenses but i'm sure that is no consolation for the amount of work that you put into the sites. Infact, I don't think your family members quite appreciate the time and effort you put into the backend stuff and maybe you should explain that to them but then if your forcing them to continue it's not really a site they are contributing to for the love of it but more because they have to.

Maybe a no win situation unless you sell the sites and get good money from it.

Just wanted to add that I could care less about the whole thing - I laugh about it, I'm not bitter at all. I used it as a learning experience when I had to install php etc onto the server. And, it was fun to play with 3.7 at the time since my forums were still running 3.6.

Show your son this thread, and let him know how his father feels.

haha, nice!

...but I agree don't work with family ;)

although I would do anything for my kids, just not outside my immediate family

:) I'am not really bitter, but I am a little disappointed. I was hoping that this site could have been a project that my son and I could share - kinda like building a model airplane together. But in this case, we built a website together.

My son said he was not interested in the site anymore, so I took it over. I have wanted a gaming site anyway, so its no big lose.


I told him how I felt - I tried to be nice - and I think his feelings were hurt. Kids ask a lot of their parents, but they do not see the big picture.



My daughter, she is 12 (turning 13 in May), she said she wants a site. But for hers, I am thinking of using Wordpress MU (multi user) instead of VBulletin. But I think its going to be the same thing.

And then there is my step daughter - but for her forum I used SMF. It has not had a post in 2 months. Good thing I did not buy a VB license for that site.

I don't know your son, or you for that matter.. but if he is in his teens, chances are he doesn't really have the desire to sit on the computer all day managing a forum. Being a webmaster is more than a part time job.. it consumes a lot of you. Kids have to have a social life.. I'm not suggesting that your son doesn't, but what I'm saying is the idea of a website is all fun and games.. then the management and the work kicks in and most kids aren't ready to handle something like that.

From the way it sounds, you are doing all of the work. That could kill the interest too.. I imagine if my father and I were restoring his old Trans am, and he was doing all of the work on it.. I'd lose interest fast.

I hear where you're coming from though, I imagine I would want to share the experience with my children too..

It's tough.. cause it's a lot of time and money wasted. Though.. I suggest making it just a waste of time. vBulletin is extremely expensive and should only be used for those who are very serious about running their forum. You have several alternatives, and one that I recommend is Vanilla.

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That's also a good idea.. giving them more of a blog to update over a forum to manage might show more progression.. Blogs are very popular right now, and it may be something that they are more familiar with / can share better with their friends, etc.

What is this s-o-c-i-a-l life you speak of? It sounds interesting. Is it something you can buy, or rent for a little while, is it like a CMS, amybe something like wordpress or drupal?

The one thing that my son and I did do, we filmed some in game videos, edited them and posted the videos on youtube. That is where he showed his most interest at.

I'am going to ask him about that this evening, maybe we can get together, and make some more videos. He is still interested in the site, he just not want to deal with the management, promotion or posting part.

For my wifes forum, I am thinking of buying some google adwords and drive some traffic to her forum. That will give her something to do.

family sites have to start with a blog, not a forum... when you have the habit of posting in a blog, you see if you want a second level of things.

i've had the exact same situation last year when about 25 members of my family asked me to create a site with a forum so we could meet online because we are seperated abroad the planet...

after 3 weeks - and about 500 visits, the only thing that was posted there were my own threads, as i needed to startup the site with content. i posted some albums from the family, comments about my life, questions and projects... basic things so, same as in my blog. the only echo i received was some cousins telling me that the site was boring because i was the only one posting... -- ok, my relatives are stupid -- ... that was my only answer, i closed the forum instead of spending all my time for nothing.

I know how you feel about the family and wanting a forum thing, I've had a similar situation where a cousin wanted a forum for an (often passing interest) twice, maybe even three times, and all those times it ended up with the forum completely dead and abandoned two days after opening, at best.

My best advice in this regard is simply to spend as little money as you can when starting forums for people as a favour (aka, use free forum software and the like), as truth be told, the vast majority of people just do not have the patience level required to run a forum. In your experiences, it also seems like you're working WAY too much to promote a site that may or may not succeed, and that to remember a lot of people often change interests rather regularly.

Still, I guess if nothing becomes of these sites, you could always either take over the management of them (think of it as a new hobby), or close them down and use the licenses for whatever future project (although I'm kinda personally surprised people actually invest money in licenses, promotion and top end hosting for even the sites for those who might lose interest that quickly, and what not).

I custom coded a social networking site that's targeted towards Christians my grandma asked me to make.
I spent over a months coding it and it's pretty much done. I want to expand upon some things but those can be done at a later date. I told my grandma that the site is ready enough to tell her friends to come and join and I'm hoping they find the site easy to use.

For those interested here is the site My Godly Page - A place for Christians
My grandma picked out the domain name.

always trying to advertise yourself Andrew... tsss

it's inborn :D
well never happen to me, because firstly I tell them how hard it's... then, they can go and think about it and return to me with a resolution... for some reason I don't understand why you didn't detect or foresee this happening... lastly I would sell my effort to recover my investment.

p.s. the disappointment part? I can't help :(

btw: Hey good parenthood there :up:

you really are a helpful neighbour Josh... rofl

I just make everyone that wants help pay up front.

That weeds out people who really don't want to do it. Yes, even my kids.

Thank you, but nothing I have is for sale, unless its for a very, very, very good price.


Thank you again.

If my dad and me would have wanted to have something like this in common, man i'd be the happiest kid ever (what i was a kid).
Too bad he doesn't know what a good and thoughtful dad he has...
Hope he brightens up :)

All the best to you kev and your family, it seems to me that your a good parent (i'm not complaining about mine, but a little bit more effort from my dad wouldn't have hurt).

It depends on what site or forum you are making.
My forum statistics are alright, i get alot of members on per day.
But then i lose intrest but i then i always come back and try the forum more active.