One Woman = Big Fat Headaches for Forum
 

You'd be amazed how much damage one stupid 20 year old girl can do to a forum of a bunch of guys. I run a local car site. Small community, everyone knows each other off the forum. The forum is mostly day time entertainment for a lot of guys at work.

One of my moderators starts dating a girl, and I'm happy for him. He's a friend who doesn't seem to have luck in that area.

A few months later, him and her aren't really in a relationship yet. And she's now using the shout box for attention regularly. Then she's flirting with different members. She's pretty attractive to a point, minus her two kids (yes at 20). Then some drama starts to crop up.

I want to can this dumb girl, becuase I've had this happen before. But my one moderator didn't want me to. But yesterday I had enough and banned her.

The problem here though, is that several guys on this site have been interested or in a semi-relationship with her already. And she is bouncing around. This is overall bad. VERY VERY BAD. A female can cause a rift between a bunch of guys very quickly. And if that guy is emotionally involved with her (even more so sexually) then he'll be 10x more likely to side with her case. Case in point, one member who is the guy currently involved with her, at the hip, made a post today about me being an +++++++.

I decided to finally ban this chick after some of the female members started to complain about her, her drama just keeps spreading.

Then today I get this PM from her:

Oh please, just go the frack away you lil drama queen.

See, I want to get rid of her, becuase I know that a girl can get people going in different directions really fast. And it's already starting to happen.

I can't curb it any further. She didn't break any rules, but I do have these few clauses in my forum rules:


Anyone ever have this happen to them?

Yeah, when I was in high school. :)

The golden rule, defined or not, is that if you piss off the admin then you're apt to get banned. It's your forum and at the end of the day you pay the bill. She (obviously) doesn't have a leg to stand on in any legal sense, so don't sweat it. The internet is full of drama queens. If that happened on my site, personally I'd put up a forum for a few days devoted to making fun of her with that PM as a sticky, but that's just me.

Well, apparently all the guys involved with her are not smart enough to see the connections I see.

They just split form the group, my main guy also deleted himself I just saw. Oh ++++ing well.

Don't even get me started on this, females can cause more issues on forums. Mostly because every guy on there is like "OMG it's a WOMAN!!!" and start flocking straight to her.

i get the lawyer/sue threats about once or twice a month on my forums.

I know she doesn't have a leg to stand on, its just funny.

Females are crazy and drive males insane.

Good job getting rid of her. :p

I've recently had more or less the same problem with an idiotic child. I finally banned him, and a few members have left to join his forum, but they'll be back.

Just don't back down. And they can never sue you; The vBulletin default rules cover all forum actions, really. :p

Sorry this topic is funny :p

You'll laugh of it someday.

If someone is getting on my tits I always stick them on 404 banning :D

I normally use the miserable user, with 100% chance of redirect to gay porn.

Lmao @ 100% chance. Hah, thank god i'm not a member at one of your forums.

these pepole are nuts lol
I got a death thread once lol

That IP redirect thing works great.

Here is a funny story. When I first installed it, I set the redirect chance to 100% and set it to something crazy like hotmanbutholes or something. You can come up with anything and half the time it turns out to be real.

So I test it on a guy who we tend to pick on a lil. Well, he comes to a hang out later that day, asking what was wrong with the site that day, and tells us this story.

Here, he was in the food court of the mall, on his laptop, with a group of girls behind him, highschool girls mind you, and ever time he went to the site, it was coming up as gay man love, and the girls saw his laptop and started laughing.

Here is whats funny, he tried re-clicking the website like 7 more times before he gave up. All the time, these girls are giggling like crazy behind him, while he feels stupider and stupider.

Oh man, wish I could of been there.

Now that's a funny story lmao. Wonder what pickup line redeemed him from that one, heh.

Heh, I love your 'SERVICE DENIED' rule. That should be added to the default vBulletin user agreement page... ;)

The only problem I have with this thread is the implying that all women are trouble and that all women are this way.

I have had problems with men on forums being idiots just as well as women. So, it could go both ways.

I don't give anyone a second chance if I feel they are doing something to hurt my forums. Especially if it's spam or harassment. I don't really care what their gender is on the issue either. They're all computer operators gender free to me. Most of them that cause problems have the all too common ID10T operator error anyway.

And please gentlemen, some of us ladies can hold our own in a car forum or other "guy" type forum, and no we don't have to be batting for the other team so to speak to fit in either.

The 302 in my name here is for a Ford 302. Nope, not a ford fan but because my ex husband was such an idiot, I had to memorize the firing order for him because he was too stupid to only take one plug wire off at a time when changing the plugs on his car.

So, idiots are genderless really.

Very good point, Ferocity302...troublemakers are troublemakers, despite their gender.

I love the SERVICE DENIED clause as well!! Most excellent!!

well i know the problem to.Your friend (the moderator) should open his eyes and realise that girl is no good for him.But i know how difficuld this can be.When you are in love you do not want to hear anything *bad* about the girl you love.I'd be verry carefull here because you wouldn't be the first and probably not the last either where situations like this lead to argues.You banned the girl because you had enough and wanted to support your friend but he himself might think something else ....He should stand up and throw that girl out of his life it is not easy but the only thing she will cause is pain and anger

In the past 10 years I've been threatened with lawsuits by members easily hundreds of times. I respond to have their lawyer contact me and give them a phone number; never once has a lawyer called me.

No laides, I said an attractive women, who is seeking nothing but attention is trouble to a group of men.

It's my belief that any women who doesn't have female friends, and can only get along with men, does so becuase she can only get along by flirting with men. These women are trouble and trouble and drama follows them, and they wonder why.

This girl was using my shoutbox as her personal attention center, to boost self esteem and looking for love on my website.

Not a good idea. And when I'd tell my friend about my thoughts, after he'd complain, he'd turn around and tell her I'm talking trash. (DUMB ASS) Then she'd PM other members going, she can't come to the meets cause certain people think things about her, and she'd get mad. Again, see where I'm going with this. Around and Around.

404 ERROR

Send her to my community, I wanna make some money. ;)

<i>She has an account on your board? Ban her...using your "friends" account? Ban them both. Explain to your "friend" he can return after he's seen her true colors.</i>

LMAO.

OK a few things to correct here. ANY Person, despite their attractiveness to certain types of people (because beauty is in the eye of the beholder) that is only looking for attention is trouble for any type of group. I agree.

But....

I personally don't really have any real friends that are women. And I have been told by men that I'm not bad on the eyes. So, you keep generalizing things as though attracive women who don't like to hang out with other women are problems.

um.... nope, I don't have a whole lot of female friends because

*I'm not into spending all my money (or my man's money) on crap that I just don't need only because I'm in competition with the other women in the world.

*Most of them are not interested in the same things I am interested in... i.e.... hunting, fishing, camping, racing, and other "guy" type things.

*Most of them would somehow somewhere find a way to either make me think she can get my man away from me or actually attempt it and I'm sorry I really dont' want to go to jail over breaking some stupid female's nose and saying to her .........feeling pretty now?

Anyway, yes I do get your point, yes I do feel she should be banned, and your friend is an idiot but then again most men are when a pretty thing walks through the door or is online and knows how to get into their pants.....er... um......... I mean head..... well, then again.... brain I guess would be what we are trying for here. (did I just generalize on men's behavior? oops)

So, I'd love to join car forums but unless I pretend to be either a helpless female, a flirt, or lie and say I'm a guy, I don't think many females would be welcome on most "guy" type forums anyway. (dang it, I just generalized again)

I've attempted to join some of the forums that have interests that I have but the guys usually are not too friendly if you can correct something they have stated, dang egos. (wow, it really is hard not to point the finger and generalize isn't it.)

If they are trouble, ban them and anyone who can't let the issue that started the problems go, ban them too or at least put them in a restricted use state.

There are alot of us out there despite what our gender happens to be that just don't necessarily get along with the same gender or haven't found the friends of the same gender that like the same things.

This isn't a gender issue but I just had to throw all that in because sometimes we get caught up in that type of stuff instead of looking at a situation instead of the actual gender or dare I say it.... yes race of a person. Then we start spouting off and use those identifiers as generalizations that make it sound like all people with those identifiers are like that.

And there my friends is how stereotypes are born. ;)

All in all, it's YOUR board, kick who ever you want off of it and if one of your "staff" doesn't like it, then explain to them it's YOUR board and they are welcome to stay with that understanding. And then remind them of your TOS.

We have girls on our forums, my girlfriend is the other admin and she's a fox and can turn a wrench. Just generally when a girl comes to the site, some guys start leg humping. Oh look a pretty hot chick into cars, oh look, she knows about cars, and shes cool, like one of the guys. Let me PM her inbox till its full with requests to go out sometime.

There's your problem! LOL

You should have clamped down on this earlier. Unfortunately "scene whores" have increasonly migrated in their droves from the chat clients to the vbulletin arena. You'll find that this is one insercure woman with a score of men fighting amongst themselves which leads me to think that common sense is thrown out of the window by the stupidity of the men that chased her in the first place.

The signs are always there usually starting with the letters A/S/L. :rolleyes:

Been there done that, A very long time ago (ubb board)we had a kick butt hunting board, 4000+ members 100-150 online at all times, it was great, the guy who owned it didn't have time to play with boards so he asked me to help. I figured no problem.

well one of them women(big church freak) in the forum wasn't who she said she really was nor was she married like she said she really was. about 20 of us decided to meet in vegas one year. I was taking my wife and others took there wives,(comeing from all over the USA) about 2 weeks before the meet, I am in chat and this lady asks me how well I know a certain person in the same state I am in. I said very very well he is a very good friend, then she goes on that her husband said it was ok for her to go with him as he had to work, I am thinking ok a little wierd but ok. She had flaunted picture of herself for years on the forum anyhow and she was pretty hot, ok not pretty hot but playboy hot... I am thinking her unlucky husband butt my lucky friend.

My wife and I decided to stay in Laughin for a few days then head to vegas for the dinner.

we arrive in vegas and are chatting with some friends, about an hour or so later my friend shows up with a women. now everyone knows how hot she was but it seems she wasn't the same after all. she had put on about 200lbs and about 25 years. We had a nice dinner and instantly figured out this chick was a physco.

she looked a little nervous so when my buddy left her to go get drives I asked her if everything was ok, she said everything was great.
we hung around for a while and decided to stay that night then head back to laughlin.

when we all arrived back to our own homes we all posted pics of the group (OMG never do that), everyone said they had a good time. about 3 months later I start hearing rumors of my friend supposibly raping this women both at his home and in vegas.
I asked her one day in live chat if she had any problems and she said no. so I ignored it. then some of our members just started not showing up anymore. about 6 months into this I drop into live chat like always and it was full of people, she was in there with 4-5 other women and about 8 guys . The room goes silent everyone leaves but one women I knew pretty good. Then it all came out. why did I let my friend rape her, why did I not doing anything etc. I was dumbfounded as so was my wife.
Of cource live chat tends to spill to chat so I had a huge mess to clean up. the owner of the board was pissed at me now and I couldnt figure out why as we were good friends)
so now this forum is running at about 25% if that, so I started doing a little snooping. and found out alot of interesting stuff. Like She wasnt married to this guy, she didnt even tell the guy she went to vegas, she was sleeping with my buddy and the list goes on.

now 7-8 months into this thing I am getting death threats, I am being charged with Rape, My wife supposibly held this women down why I did the dirty deed it was just bad. I got calls at home and at work death threat, fake lawyers fake cops and sherriffs fake DA's the whole nine yards. Lost countless friends, not to mention my good friend who I didnt speak to and had a few arguements with over him taking advantage of her.

2 years later someone pms me saying that they meeting her and her husband, I told them to watch out of cource then they heard about everything and I was told off once again.

3 weeks after that I had countless people come back to the board an appologize as they finally figured out everything was a lie and only done for attention. Seems she pulled them same thing on those guys as well, along with the lies about what she looked like and that she was married etc.


the internet is a great place for entertainment, just have fun doing it.
I have met tons of people ,litterally thousands of people from the net. ( My wife ran a irc chat board for down syndrom kids and parents that had kids with disabilities) we used to all get together every 3 months in vegas and laughlin 20-50 at a time from all over the world( before the above story) out of all the people I have met there has only been 3 freaks that you had to get nervous about.
Anymore I just shunn the situation and tell them to get a life, most people realize a pain in the butt when they see them.
I am 44 and don't give a ratts behind what is said on the net, if someone gets nasty with me on one of my boards it dont bother me, I very rarely bann anyone and delete post, I never edit a post unless a extramly bad word is in it.. when people ask why I did this or that the best and most simpliest answer is "Because I can" that all you have to say. if you say anything else they will start to whine and cry foul. with this it ends fast and now.

Running a worldwide or nationwide board is alot easier than running a state only board, I always thought I would be harder but the instate boards everyone wants to one up the next person and there are 500 people that know the other guy . in the world wide boards they can one up all they want and wont likely be called out.

I feel your pain, it will go away after a few months, good luck and thank the world wide web for the internet kooks as they are the best entertainment in the world.


Shelly I love the term "Scene whores"
PennylessZ28 you ahve a way with words I like that.
Delw