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-   -   Rofl at this, how to tell when your son is a hacker! (https://vborg.vbsupport.ru/showthread.php?t=149307)

Luky 06-09-2007 05:42 PM

Rofl at this, how to tell when your son is a hacker!
 
A forum member of mine found this, its rather humorous:

Quote:

As an enlightened, modern parent, I try to be as involved as possible in the lives of my six children. I encourage them to join team sports. I attend their teen parties with them to ensure no drinking or alcohol is on the premises. I keep a fatherly eye on the CDs they listen to and the shows they watch, the company they keep and the books they read. You could say I'm a model parent. My children have never failed to make me proud, and I can say without the slightest embellishment that I have the finest family in the USA.
Two years ago, my wife Carol and I decided that our children's education would not be complete without some grounding in modern computers. To this end, we bought our children a brand new Compaq to learn with. The kids had a lot of fun using the handful of application programs we'd bought, such as Adobe's Photoshop and Microsoft's Word, and my wife and I were pleased that our gift was received so well. Our son Peter was most entranced by the device, and became quite a pro at surfing the net. When Peter began to spend whole days on the machine, I became concerned, but Carol advised me to calm down, and that it was only a passing phase. I was content to bow to her experience as a mother, until our youngest daughter, Cindy, charged into the living room one night to blurt out that "Peter is a computer hacker!"



As you can imagine, I was amazed. A computer hacker in my own house! I began to monitor my son's habits, to make certain that Cindy wasn't just telling stories, as she is prone to doing at times.
After a few days of investigation, and some research into computer hacking, I confronted Peter with the evidence. I'm afraid to say, this was the only time I have ever been truly disappointed in one of my children. We raised them to be honest and to have integrity, and Peter betrayed the principles we tried to encourage in him, when he refused point blank to admit to his activities. His denials continued for hours, and in the end, I was left with no choice but to ban him from using the computer until he is old enough to be responsible for his actions.
After going through this ordeal with my own family, I was left pondering how I could best help others in similar situations. I'd gained a lot of knowledge over those few days regarding hackers. It's only right that I provide that information to other parents, in the hope that they will be able to tell if their children are being drawn into the world of hacking. Perhaps other parents will be able to steer their sons back onto the straight and narrow before extreme measures need to be employed.
To this end, I have decided to publish the top ten signs that your son is a hacker. I advise any parents to read this list carefully and if their son matches the profile, they should take action. A smart parent will first try to reason with their son, before resorting to groundings, or even spanking. I pride myself that I have never had to spank a child, and I hope this guide will help other parents to put a halt to their son's misbehaviour before a spanking becomes necessary.

1. Has your son asked you to change ISPs?
Most American families use trusted and responsible Internet Service Providers, such as AOL. These providers have a strict "No Hacking" policy, and take careful measures to ensure that your internet experience is enjoyable, educational and above all legal. If your child is becoming a hacker, one of his first steps will be to request a change to a more hacker friendly provider.
I would advise all parents to refuse this request. One of the reasons your son is interested in switching providers is to get away from AOL's child safety filter. This filter is vital to any parent who wants their son to enjoy the internet without the endangering him through exposure to "adult" content. It is best to stick with the protection AOL provides, rather than using a home-based solution. If your son is becoming a hacker, he will be able to circumvent any home-based measures with surprising ease, using information gleaned from various hacker sites.

2. Are you finding programs on your computer that you don't remember installing?
Your son will probably try to install some hacker software. He may attempt to conceal the presence of the software in some way, but you can usually find any new programs by reading through the programs listed under "Install/Remove Programs" in your control panel. Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash".
The best option is to confront your son with the evidence, and force him to remove the offending programs. He will probably try to install the software again, but you will be able to tell that this is happening, if your machine offers to "download" one of the hacker applications. If this happens, it is time to give your son a stern talking to, and possibly consider punishing him with a grounding.

3. Has your child asked for new hardware?
Computer hackers are often limited by conventional computer hardware. They may request "faster" video cards, and larger hard drives, or even more memory. If your son starts requesting these devices, it is possible that he has a legitimate need. You can best ensure that you are buying legal, trustworthy hardware by only buying replacement parts from your computer's manufacturer.
If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.

4. Does your child read hacking manuals?
If you pay close attention to your son's reading habits, as I do, you will be able to determine a great deal about his opinions and hobbies. Children are at their most impressionable in the teenage years. Any father who has had a seventeen year old daughter attempt to sneak out on a date wearing make up and perfume is well aware of the effect that improper influences can have on inexperienced minds.
There are, unfortunately, many hacking manuals available in bookshops today. A few titles to be on the lookout for are: "Snow Crash" and "Cryptonomicon" by Neal Stephenson; "Neuromancer" by William Gibson; "Programming with Perl" by Timothy O'Reilly; "Geeks" by Jon Katz; "The Hacker Crackdown" by Bruce Sterling; "Microserfs" by Douglas Coupland; "Hackers" by Steven Levy; and "The Cathedral and the Bazaar" by Eric S. Raymond.
If you find any of these hacking manuals in your child's possession, confiscate them immediately. You should also petition local booksellers to remove these titles from their shelves. You may meet with some resistance at first, but even booksellers have to bow to community pressure.

5. How much time does your child spend using the computer each day?
If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites. DOSing involves gaining access to the "command prompt" on other people's machines, and using it to tie up vital internet services. This can take up to eight hours. If your son is doing this, he is breaking the law, and you should stop him immediately. The safest policy is to limit your children's access to the computer to a maximum of forty-five minutes each day.

6. Does your son use Quake? -Message by Luky, Im guessing CS is where the hackers meet too?
Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.
If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable to you. You should ensure all the firearms in your house are carefully locked away, and have trigger locks installed. You should also bring your concerns to the attention of his school.

7. Is your son becoming argumentative and surly in his social behaviour?
As a child enters the electronic world of hacking, he may become disaffected with the real world. He may lose the ability to control his actions, or judge the rightness or wrongness of a course of behaviour. This will manifest itself soonest in the way he treats others. Those whom he disagrees with will be met with scorn, bitterness, and even foul language. He may utter threats of violence of a real or electronic nature.
Even when confronted, your son will probably find it difficult to talk about this problem to you. He will probably claim that there is no problem, and that you are imagining things. He may tell you that it is you who has the problem, and you should "back off" and "stop smothering him." Do not allow yourself to be deceived. You are the only chance your son has, even if he doesn't understand the situation he is in. Keep trying to get through to him, no matter how much he retreats into himself.

8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"? -Message by me, ROFL!!! LUNIX!!! AGAGAAHAH
BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.
Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional.
If you see the word "LILO" during your windows startup (just after you turn the machine on), your son has installed lunix. In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Lunix is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface.

9. Has your son radically changed his appearance?
If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands. Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors. They may wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts and spiky hair dyed in bright colors to match their clothes. They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around their necks. (I have no idea why they do this) There are many such hackers in schools today, and your son may have started to associate with them. If you notice that your son's group of friends includes people dressed like this, it is time to think about a severe curfew, to protect him from dangerous influences.

10. Is your son struggling academically? If your son is failing courses in school, or performing poorly on sports teams, he may be involved in a hacking group, such as the infamous "Otaku" hacker association. Excessive time spent on the computer, communicating with his fellow hackers may cause temporary damage to the eyes and brain, from the electromagnetic radiation. This will cause his marks to slip dramatically, particularly in difficult subjects such as Math, and Chemistry. In extreme cases, over-exposure to computer radiation can cause schizophrenia, meningitis and other psychological diseases. Also, the reduction in exercise may cause him to lose muscle mass, and even to start gaining weight. For the sake of your child's mental and physical health, you must put a stop to his hacking, and limit his computer time drastically. I encourage all parents to read through this guide carefully. Your child's future may depend upon it. Hacking is an illegal and dangerous activity, that may land your child in prison, and tear your family apart. It cannot be taken too seriously

Shazz 06-09-2007 06:17 PM

Wow im a hacker :o

Frozen Tears 06-09-2007 06:51 PM

Same here. 30 minutes a day? Man, my record is 8 hours in front of the computer, NON STOP. I didnt even try to set a record, i look at the clock, its 2 AM, then i look again, and its 10 AM!

Nutz 06-09-2007 07:34 PM

roflmao.. has to be a joke xD

nexialys 06-09-2007 07:39 PM

slacker, i'm a hacker, my kids are both hackers... the youngest one is not old enough to understand hacking, but i'm sure she will be good

Luky 06-09-2007 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frozen Tears (Post 1264961)
Same here. 30 minutes a day? Man, my record is 8 hours in front of the computer, NON STOP. I didnt even try to set a record, i look at the clock, its 2 AM, then i look again, and its 10 AM!

I done longer :D 36 hours non stop, only breaks were for toilet. I ate at the computer. 'twas a sick lan :D I got a really massive headache but so i had to sleep, it was a 42 hour thing.

Number eight made my hysterical.

nexialys 06-09-2007 08:32 PM

gosh, what Microsoft can invent to make the free world look stupid... great #8

Frozen Tears 06-10-2007 05:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luky (Post 1264983)
I done longer :D 36 hours non stop, only breaks were for toilet. I ate at the computer. 'twas a sick lan :D I got a really massive headache but so i had to sleep, it was a 42 hour thing.

Number eight made my hysterical.

You do know, we shouldnt be too proud of this lol.
Apparently this generation will be technology. :cool:

Quote:

Originally Posted by nexialys
slacker, i'm a hacker, my kids are both hackers... the youngest one is not old enough to understand hacking, but i'm sure she will be good

Ooh! A family of hackers! Nice one! :cool: :cool:

See, you get two faces!

Luky 06-10-2007 07:05 AM

My generation is the peak of the geek era i recon, when i was born, internet was made to the public and as i grew up, computers changed more then they ever have.

harmor19 06-10-2007 08:51 AM

If I was grounded from the computer just for installing "flash" I would stay off of it for a couple days then as quitely as I can get on it in the middle of the night and install spyware, malware, adware, trojans, viruses, and anything else that will stuff up the computer. When my mom says "Why is it doing this?" I would say "I guess those hackers I was protecting this computer from finally got through".

Frozen Tears 06-10-2007 09:18 AM

LOL! Im gonna do that if i get grounded lol!

cheat-master30 06-10-2007 10:43 AM

This is seriously one of the most pathetic arguments in an article ever, and if anyone has ever believed most of what's in that then they seriously don't understand computers (although I have seen more ridiculous, ignorant articles with less sense, I can show one that's dumber if anyone wants).

Quote:

2. Are you finding programs on your computer that you don't remember installing?
How many kids can actually afford the Flash program, which isn't even a hacking program in the first place? And the other stuff named are actually viruses, and are not installed by the choice of the user.

Quote:

4. Does your child read hacking manuals?
Perl manuals? That's a programming language.

Quote:

5. How much time does your child spend using the computer each day?
Is there anyone who spends less than 45 minutes a day in the first place?

Quote:

6. Does your son use Quake?
It's a videogame.

I probably have just been arguing against something that was a parody joke, but who cares, some of them are hilarious to read and argue against. This was still a pretty lame parody article though.

tehste 06-10-2007 10:59 AM

Quote:

AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking.
qft hehe tis a good giggle

Luky 06-10-2007 11:06 AM

Well it is obviously a setup, noone is dumb enough to accually belive that.

Frozen Tears 06-10-2007 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheat-master30 (Post 1265413)
Quote:

2. Are you finding programs on your computer that you don't remember installing?
How many kids can actually afford the Flash program, which isn't even a hacking program in the first place? And the other stuff named are actually viruses, and are not installed by the choice of the user.


Warez sites. Free Flash download...

Luky 06-10-2007 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frozen Tears (Post 1265442)
Warez sites. Free Flash download...

Erm, firstly, most warez forums that are large donot have viruses. Secondly, them virus sites say its a flash download, but it clearly isnt.

Shazz 06-10-2007 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luky (Post 1265520)
Erm, firstly, most warez forums that are large donot have viruses. Secondly, them virus sites say its a flash download, but it clearly isnt.

i agree there :p

Frozen Tears 06-10-2007 02:16 PM

Hmm. My post is shot down. Once again.

Luky 06-10-2007 11:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frozen Tears (Post 1265540)
Hmm. My post is shot down. Once again.

It alright... *melts*

blackgem 06-13-2007 12:00 AM

Quote:

AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking.
I can imagine all those third world clean rooms pumping out the CPUs, haha, that's gold.

ferocity302 06-13-2007 06:42 AM

OMG Do you mean since we have 4 computers in the house and usually there is at least one of them if not all of them occupied for most of the 24 hour period we are a family of hackers?

And should I be concerned if it's my husband that has this reading material and he has long conversations with my son about "no no no that's not real hacking you'd have to do..." ?

Lets just lable more kids because someone gets hysterical over "abnormal" behavior in a child and jumps to conclusions.

LOL

This really cracked me up when I read it.

Luky 06-13-2007 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blackgem (Post 1267259)
I can imagine all those third world clean rooms pumping out the CPUs, haha, that's gold.

Mmm, First cause of death is radioactivity, second is hunger :)

WarDoGG 06-13-2007 05:17 PM

lol.. whoever wrote this article doesnt even know what he's talking about.

When did "Quake" and "CS" become a hacking community..

and ROFL.. !!!! when did DOS mean gaining access to machines via command prompt... silly stuff.

0tolerance 06-14-2007 12:39 AM

Lol i agree with wardogg...
what kinda retard thinks that
Quote:

Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash".
these are "popular" hacking software..

if the fella that wrote that is true and his family is real...
i gotta say his kids are going to be living at home their entire lives and they might get their first kiss at about 20-30... ROFL

i say let your kids drink, party and do what ever.. they will either grow up a loser or get over it fast.

PennylessZ28 06-14-2007 03:50 AM

Quote:

8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"? -Message by me, ROFL!!! LUNIX!!! AGAGAAHAH
BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.
Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional.
If you see the word "LILO" during your windows startup (just after you turn the machine on), your son has installed lunix. In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Lunix is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface.
Those damn COMMUNIST!

Quote:

9. Has your son radically changed his appearance?
If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands. Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors. They may wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts and spiky hair dyed in bright colors to match their clothes. They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around their necks. (I have no idea why they do this) There are many such hackers in schools today, and your son may have started to associate with them. If you notice that your son's group of friends includes people dressed like this, it is time to think about a severe curfew, to protect him from dangerous influences.
I knew day glow was dangerous!

cyberphr 06-14-2007 11:14 AM

Old. The Lunix section still makes me laugh, though.

akoj 11-28-2007 07:55 PM

That is one of the funniest things I have read in a while. It has to be a joke.

PossumX 12-02-2007 02:01 AM

Heck, after reading that (besides being a shade dumber) I must be elite. Funny stuff. My 10 year old son is on the edge, after all, he has had his own 'puter since he was 18 months old, and knows Linux (the demon program according to the above), Windows OS's quite well, and does basic graphix and html/php programming already (I want him to be a plumber or electrician, and avoid the chaos that has invaded the I.T. industry in the last 10 years). I track everything he does via a server that he is routed through, no blocks (yet), but I log every site/IP attempted. Already, there has been some questionable remote calls made. Eyes are open, but he doesn't have the spiked purple mohawk yet.

forte 12-02-2007 12:44 PM

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkLtXfsPqVQ" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkLtXfsPqVQ</a>

^Screensavers (old show on the now-gone techtv channel) featuring that list. Its still funny.

edgecutioner 12-08-2007 04:35 AM

ok I do most of the things enumerated..... so does that mean I'm a hacker?:p

nurawtek 12-10-2007 11:52 PM

Lunix? whats Lunix I know of Linux or Unix even the most similar LUnix for the commodore 64 but I don't know of any Lunix... BUT yeah lmmfao... Anyways Linux Ubuntu is a beautiful OS specially when you install Beryl (which is what I have at the moment..I know Beryl is dead BUT I still use it...dont remember of the new projects name) My mom even uses Linux and she has NO IDEA about computers she can check her email and practice typing with Mavis... So I got a good laugh at this, I just want to know if this is for real ? Alas I did a search online about this lunix system and found this exact same article here:

http://www.adequacy.org/stories/2001...2056.2147.html

posted December 2nd 2001 under the Internet Idiocy section.

Quote:

6. Does your son use Quake?

Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.

If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable to you. You should ensure all the firearms in your house are carefully locked away, and have trigger locks installed. You should also bring your concerns to the attention of his school.
WOW....

And Pac Man was invented so that h4x0rz can simulate through a specially created virtual reality what its like to go to a rave...
https://vborg.vbsupport.ru/external/2007/12/20.jpg
we all know the shirt:
If video games affected us as kids then we would all be running around dark places eating pills listening to repetitive music

SbyD_Salient 12-12-2007 02:15 AM

Apparently I'm a 733t hacker who also has gun training on various firearms .... awesome, told my parents video gaming was educational ;)


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